There is no denying that the quickest way to bring down a good mood these days
is to read or watch the news. Our world is busting at the seams with
tragedy, heartache, death and destruction. It is enough to make you stop
watching TV and leave the paper on the stoop.
Well, before you remove the batteries from the remote or cancel your
subscription, allow me to enlighten you about what exists one layer beneath all
those serious world events. Stupidity and Laughs - and I while I do not
mean Dave Barry, this underbelly is exactly where he trolls for most of his
material. That's right, there is a whole underworld of news teeming with
stories that are just flat out funny.
Of course you'll find the stories of bank robbers arrested while catching their
breath on a bench in front of the police station. And idiots like the
Siegfried & Roy wannabe in New York with the tiger in his apartment.
"The tiger is my homeboy." Yeah PuffRoy, so is the psychiatrist
at Bellevue, look him up.
But all these Pulitzer worthy stories aside, my recent favorite has to be the
headline that screamed, "Swedes Puzzled By Butter-filled Shoes".
Yes, butter-filled shoes.
Apparently, a group of tourists hiking in Sweden, came upon 70 pairs of shoes
filled with butter on an isolated mountaintop. Once I stopped laughing, my
mind began pondering the how? why? who? of it all.
Were the shoes the sturdy wooden Dutch kind, better able to contain the
condiment? Or were they Birkenstocks, oozing oleo? Penny loafers
full of Parkay, symbolizing our slippery world economy? Perhaps they were
ski boots left behind after a group of adventurers slicked up their bare feet
for some Nudist Downhill? Talk about a slippery slope.
And what kind of butter? That might shed light on who perpetrated the
stunt. Sticks of real butter? Look for a French suspect.
Margarine? You know how we Americans love us some trans fatty acids.
Was it actually lard - perhaps a disgruntled farm worker? Or
"I-Can't-Believe- It's-Not Butter? What has Fabio been up to the past
decade? Think about it...
The authorities actually believe it may be the work of a copycat artist, as this
apparently happened in a desolate Tibetan landscape as well. May I suggest
to the next copycat, kick it up a notch, keep us interested. How about
mustard-filled Manolos, ketchup-filled clogs, or even soda-filled sneakers?
Just Dew it!
Personally I like my daughter's theory as to what really happened.
"The Yeti likes butter." Of course! We all know that
"everything's better with Blue Bonnet on it"!
The Yeti Likes Butter. Now that is a headline just waiting for its
place in the sun.
So next time you are in the doldrums over serious world events, dig a little
deeper. You are sure to find a day brightener like this one, "Man
Dies After Wife Crushes Testicles."
I'm laughing already.
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