Fries With Your Lawsuit?


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Would You Like Fries With Your Lawsuit?

As a parent I try daily to raise my children to be decent, moral, responsible people. And like millions of like-minded mothers and fathers I know that their upbringing must include more than just "wash your hands", "donít talk with your mouth full", "eat your vegetables" and "donít run with scissors". It must include lessons of tolerance, respect and personal accountability - as in there are consequences for their actions.

Actions = Consequences. Simple. Even a three year old can be taught this principle and respect how it functions.

My daughters understand that should they decide to deceive, hit or steal, they in turn receive punishments that vary from time-outs to suspended privileges. If they do not do their homework, they in turn receive an "F". If they do not bring their dirty clothes to the laundry room, they cannot expect to be wearing clean underwear for very long. And if they cannot eat a decent dinner, they most certainly cannot expect any sort of dessert.

So if this basic tenet is so simple that even our youngest citizens comply, why is it then that the adults of this world are constantly bucking this system and undermining my teachings?

Case in point: McDonaldís is being sued for making people fat.

I truly thought we had reached an all-time low in victim mentality when the old woman sued and won over her coffee being hot and it having the audacity to burn her when she spilled it on herself. I was wrong.

It must come as great relief to the millions of overweight, fast food chomping Americans that their ever expanding girth is not their fault. They have been unwitting pawns in a corporate game of Cheeseburger Chess. And as for those elastic waisted pants they have been forced into wearing? I do believe there should be an accompanying lawsuit directed at the garment manufacturers of the world for their obvious lack of concern for the self esteem of the French Fry impaired. Honestly, I canít believe that I ever allowed myself to feel an ounce of guilt lo those many times I supersized those ounces of deep fried delicacies. And how nice to know that should my children grow zaftig, it is neither their fault, nor mine, they are simply Happy Meal Handicapped.

Give me a break. No, actually in defense of the Golden Arches, I must paraphrase their own slogan and say, "They deserve a break today."

Please tell me when, in the history of Ronald McDonald have they ever touted their food as heart-healthy, well-balanced or waistline-friendly? Has it been some sort of State secret just now come to light that they deep fry? That beef contains fat? That there are caloric consequences involved in Supersizing? No, No, and NO.

What also is no secret is the fact that we are a society of lazy, unaccountable, irresponsible litigants, equally as hungry for a quarter million dollar lawsuit as we are for quarter pounder with cheese. What a wonderful example being set for our kids. I suppose next we should sue the grocery stores because they actually stock their shelves with ground beef, potatoes and gasp! - ice cream!

My advice to these lawyers who have brought suit on behalf of their hefty clientele? Advise your doughy defendants to get off their supersized rear ends and take a walk. Not to the nearest McDonaldís, but to the nearest mirror. Have them come face to face with their real problem - themselves. There is only one party responsible for their plight. They ordered the food. They shoved the fries in their mouth. They went back for more and more and more. They have become fat at their own hands. Their choice, their responsibility.

Actions = Consequences. We teach it to our children. Maybe itís time we grown-ups practice what we preach and spend more time supersizing our own accountability, not the elastic in our pants.

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